The Meaning of Happiness: Why Happiness Is Fleeting

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence.” —Aristotle

What is happiness?

It’s commonly believed that happiness doesn’t last forever, but is it true? While happiness fades over time, some may contend it is more than a passing emotion. One’s level of satisfaction isn’t a fixed characteristic of their character but rather a dynamic emotional state that can shift at any time.

To be happy is to have a pleasant or satisfying emotional state; it should not be confused with extreme emotions such as elation, rapture, or bliss. It’s possible to experience happiness on both the internal and the exterior levels.

Etymology

The root meaning is defined as “good fortune,” from happy + -ness. Meaning “pleasant and contented mental state,” and from happy, meaning “lucky, favored by fortune, being in advantageous circumstances, prosperous; of events.

This tendency raises some intriguing questions; for example, did our predecessors think good fortune had a significant role in determining one’s level of contentment in life? We’ll get to it soon; for most of human history, it was rare to be happy.

Happiness vs. Pleasure

Happiness and pleasure are not interchangeable terms. For most, pleasure is fleeting and dependent on extraneous circumstances, like indulging in a beloved treat or opening a thoughtful present. Alternatively, true happiness is something we create for ourselves and lasts far longer.

Pleasure can increase one’s sense of well-being and for well-being to heighten or broaden one’s capacity for pleasure, but it’s also possible for the two to be at odds with one another. An individual might be happy for reasons that have nothing to do with sensual gratification, such as a deep sense of purpose and connection with the world around them, or they can be happy for sensual gratification but yet feel unfulfilled because of the guilt they feel for indulging in it.

Happiness vs. Meaning

In contrast, happiness often associated with experiences of joy and optimism is not a passing emotion but rather a pervasive sense of purpose and the conviction that one’s life matters in the grand scheme.

The ups and downs of life are inevitable; they are a part of the human condition. Humans of all cultures and societies want fulfillment by pursuing their own happiness. However, making this an ultimate aim might bring more disappointment than joy.

If the distinctions discussed sound confusing, we’d explore why happiness is fleeting.

Why happiness is fleeting and why that’s a good thing

“We are not meant to be happy all the time” ―James Rhodes

So why do we frequently believe that pleasure is out of our reach? Too high of expectations might be to blame. We typically frame happiness as an either/or situation: we either have it or don’t. However, happiness may be developed through time and cultivated intentionally just to keep the positive emotion active before sinking back to a baseline.

Does it seem crazy that someone wants to wake up every day feeling completely happy? Where can they find out whether their mood has improved? Whether they’re joyful all the time or not, that question remains. Lately, it seems our society does not value happiness and driving itself crazy for several reasons: political division, economic stagnation, a rise in loneliness, and a lack of social connection. Also, for the same reason that even the “bad times” are so memorable, we normalize them.

On the flip side, individuals are constantly chasing happiness in the wrong things just to keep their dopamine levels from caving on them from an onset feeling of misery. However, too much joy or a permanent state of bliss would send the incorrect message to individuals and society alike.

Happiness, at most, is a transitory feeling, a pleasure to be savored for as long as it lasts. The negative twin of happiness is sadness, which follows the same pattern of ephemeral appearances. Sadness comes and goes, but we must persevere no matter how much we want it to go away. As Jung so aptly put it, sadness is the “dark night of the soul.” Like all sentiments, sadness is transitory and will eventually disappear, but it has its purpose, like all emotions.

Most of the time, we learn from our sorrows, and they help us develop emotionally and spiritually. If there was no grief, we couldn’t know or appreciate joy. Where would we look for meaning if joy were the default state or we never had to struggle for a sense of equilibrium? How does one think the first signs of improvement in themself would emerge?

“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” —Carl G. Jung

Eternal happiness is like Sisyphus trying to move the boulder forever (where Sisyphus must roll a stone up a hill, only for it to roll back down again every time he succeeds). Eventually, it would become dull and pointless. Is it possible that experiencing too much joy is a euphoric death sentence?

Happiness as an end in itself is a myth and irrational. Feeling down can serve a useful function, as can other states of mind, like depression. Neither can we dwell in perpetual misery or unending elation.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. ” —Carl Jung

It’s crucial to put temporary sadness in context since it’s more indicative of life’s natural ups and downs than severe depression. Since we’re on why happiness is fleeting, our evolutionary history is the best place to start.

Survival of the fittest

“Evolution does not make happiness its goal; it aims simply at evolution and nothing else.” —Friedrich Nietzsche

Life was brief, violent, and incredibly competitive for much of our species’ two hundred thousand years on Earth. And our minds are conditioned to function optimally in this fast-paced, cutthroat environment. How fast-paced, intense, and short-lived was the competition?

For the previous two hundred thousand years, we’ve spent 99 percent of our existence here on Earth.

Our average lifespan throughout history is 30 years.

There has been a perpetual struggle for survival between our minds throughout the vast majority of human existence.

Our mental capacities have remained constant throughout our existence, and life was brief, difficult, and competitive.

One of our predecessors was in unique peril if he or she ever felt content with their material wealth, social status, or life achievements. ‘We could not return to the origins of civilization in the event of a crisis. Therefore, we had to improvise our safety nets just to get by. In a world with predators, rivals, and bad luck, having enough can never feel like enough. In the long run, happiness was too dangerous a gamble.

This innate need for what we lack causes us to always feel unfulfilled. Our forefathers would have been one bad hunting trip away from hunger if they didn’t have it. This essential yet cruel software is set up to ensure the player’s survival at whatever cost. While it serves its intended goal well, it frequently makes us tense and irritated. It has been said that despair is nature’s method of keeping humans on their toes. It’s a rudimentary system, but it’s served humanity well for centuries.

Just what effect did this terror have? To put it simply, it ensured our continued existence. We made it through at any cost. To put it mildly, we were on edge. We considered ourselves to be fighters. We took no prisoners and played no favorites. We were really harsh to one another. A deadly bunch, that’s what we were. And it was because of it that we arrived. And that’s how we came to rule the world. And it’s all thanks to it… we have everything we could possibly want.

This begs the question: is that apprehension still hardwired into our brains today? Unfortunately, yes. Adverse experiences were necessary for human survival for most of history. About two-thirds of the amygdala’s neurons scan the environment for threats. These hostile events and incidents are more easily remembered after the alarm goes off. Still, good ones require being mindful of them for a dozen or more seconds before they are transferred from short-term memory buffers to long-term storage. Therefore, the hostile life our ancestors had to endure resulted in a firm disposition of negativity.

Negativity bias

Negative stimuli elicit a stronger response from the brain. The rate of electrical activity is increasingly larger compared to positive experiences. Consequently, bad news has a greater impact on our moods than good news does.

Our ability to give more weight to bad information presumably developed for a good reason—to keep us safe. Skill in avoiding harm has been crucial to our species’ continued existence since its earliest days in recorded history. The brain has mechanisms to ensure that we always take notice of and ideally react to threats.

“Over and over again, psychologists find that the human mind reacts to bad things more quickly, strongly, and persistently than to equivalent good things. We can’t just will ourselves to see everything as good because our minds are wired to find and react to threats, violations, and setbacks.” ―Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Putting Ancient Wisdom to the Test of Modern Science

All is well. However, the same bad news this bias is at work in every aspect of our life because our brains are wired to be hypersensitive to negativity. The ratio to offset the negative impact of experiences is five to one: five positive experiences over one negative experience. Although we’re living in much safer times, another aspect of our psychology plays a role in achieving perpetual blissfulness.

Hedonic adaptation

The ability of humans to successfully adjust to a favorable shift in their environment is described by this psychological phrase. When we finally acquire what we desire, there’s immediate excitement.

“Happiness is a fleeting state, not an arrival at a destination.”

Everything in life can be explained by the principle of hedonic adaptation. However, in love partnerships, complexities arise. It tends to be intense when we initially fall for someone. These feelings of love are exciting, all-encompassing, and sexually passionate. When we fall deeply in love, we stop caring about anybody save our new companion. Constantly thinking about our spouse makes it hard to focus on our activities. At this early stage, we’re also quite sensitive to the possibility of rejection.

The lifespan of passionate love is between a few months and a few years. Which has an upside to it. Think of the toll it would have on our professional life, social life, and sanity if we spent all of our time thinking about our significant other.

Passionate love is followed by a deeper kind of love called companionate love, built on mutual trust and admiration.

“Companionate love grows slowly over the years as lovers apply their attachment and caregiving systems to each other, and as they begin to rely upon, care for, and trust each other. If the metaphor for passionate love is fire, the metaphor for companionate love is vines growing, intertwining, and gradually binding two people together.” ―Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

Evolutionary biology has hardwired us for intense feelings of affection for other humans. Indeed, because of this, our species has continued to exist biologically. On the other hand, companionate love is something we’re hardwired to seek. This kind of love keeps us firmly planted. At the same time, we face real-world obstacles like raising a family, dealing with illness, or overcoming financial hardship.

With that said, our life in the 21st century should make us much happier compared to the time our ancestors lived thousands of years ago. Yet, even today’s conditions manage to play on our evolutionary system, and modern life seems to make many unhappy.

Modern life makes us less happy

Besides describing the evolutionary biological and historical factors mentioned above that play a role in understanding why happiness is fleeting, cultural trends also contribute to the highly negative aspects of human nature and scant solutions to push against these qualities. However, comprehending much of what will be explored warrants a separate post; the trends that will be mentioned are brief observations primarily pointing to western societies, more so the United States. Beginning with the misunderstood famous phrase in the Declaration of Independence, “the pursuit of happiness.”

Americans’ obsession with the pursuit of happiness

The pursuit of happiness in Western society is often viewed as a moral imperative. Among the few motivations for doing something that doesn’t require further justification is the pursuit of happiness. But is it possible to base our lives on such a logical fallacy?

Most people would interpret “pursuit” to mean “seeking happiness,” as in “in hot pursuit.” If this is the case, “the pursuit of happiness” refers to an active process of finding fulfillment.

When people talk about “the pursuit of happiness,” they don’t mean pursuing happiness as much as experiencing happiness itself.

“People want to be happy, and all the other things they want are typically meant to be a means to that end.” ―Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness

This is shown not just by writings from the same time as the Declaration but also by the Declaration itself, in the same language. Effects on people’s safety and happiness are mentioned in the continuation. Nonetheless, the Declaration of Rights adopted by the Virginia Convention on June 12, 1776—just a few short weeks before Independence Day on July 4—may provide the best answer. Even the “pursuing and obtaining” of happiness is explicitly mentioned in the Virginia Declaration.

Seeking happiness is one thing, but really getting it and experiencing it -practicing happiness! — it is a whole different story. This is the chasm between daydreaming and awake life. Remember that the Declaration of Independence describes the pursuit of happiness not as a goal or a hobby but as “an unalienable right.” Everyone should be allowed the opportunity to experience genuine happiness.

“The pursuit of happiness at all costs is causing us pain.”

Living a life full of happiness would be ideal. Of course, there are other choices besides increasing satisfaction. Even the most blessed human life is fraught with suffering. Experiencing bodily pain from an accident, illness, or emotional suffering from boredom, loneliness, or despair. As long as we’re alive, we’re going to experience pain. One of the ways to drive pain into almost every individual is with a declining economy.

Economic stagnation

In most developed countries, the standard of living has declined since the 1970s. In the United States, standard wages have kept steady. Still, living costs with health care, education, housing, and the like have risen significantly. Yet, in a consumerist-materialist society, that part of the belief that happiness is derived from what an individual has and how much of it seems almost contradictory when basic necessities like health care and housing eat most middle-class incomes. While expecting most people to obtain goods and earn more money to keep with this trend to maintain a strong economy, while inflation devalues their spending power. Thus, we wonder why people are unhappy these days, trying to sprint but only ending up in the same spot.

Plus, having a disingenuine outlook of reality does more harm than good when the death of a loved one is met with statements like “they’re in a better place” even with good intentions doesn’t help when trying to evoke positivity in a very ambivalently difficult situation for the sufferers described in two words.

Toxic positivity

“Healthy positivity means making space for both reality and hope. Toxic positivity denies an emotion and forces us to suppress it. When we use toxic positivity, we are telling ourselves and others that this emotion shouldn’t exist, it’s wrong, and if we try just a little bit harder, we can eliminate it entirely.” ―Whitney Goodman, Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy

Humans don’t naturally have an upbeat outlook on life. Actually, it’s the complete opposite. Our species has a very pessimistic disposition. It evolved as a means of staying alive. We have hardwired danger detection systems in our brains. Keeping a negative outlook is essential to our survival.

Therefore, the inability to think positively must be a learned behavior. Can we trace back the origins of this phenomenon?

Traveling back to the 19th century, when America was the “New World.” The vast majority of the incoming settlers identified as Calvinists. Most people, in their view, were basically immoral and sinful. Working hard and praying to God for the forgiveness of sins was the meaning of life, but God already knew who would be saved.

In Calvinist culture, entertainment and optimism were in short supply. The conventional wisdom was pessimistic to the extreme. It was too depressing, the pioneers agreed. An issue with the “New World” label existed.

Then a guy named Phineas Quimby appeared on the scene. It so happens that he is a clockmaker fascinated by hypnotism. Aside from being a scientist, he’s also a mentalist and a mesmerist. In his view, a person’s false beliefs are the origin of his physical ailment. Simply shifting our perspective can help us feel better. Maintain a constructive outlook.

The “New Thought” movement, of which Quimby was the “father,” gained rapid popularity. People were immediately drawn to the concept that they might influence their own destinies by changing their frame of mind. The Calvinists’ gloomy outlook made this a welcome diversion.

The impact of the New Thought community grew steadily over time. The medical and psychological professions gradually came to believe in the efficacy of optimistic thinking. After that, it was used as a key ingredient in the 1930s for achieving prominence and success. Many self-help books, like Napoleon Hill’s, Think and Grow Rich, stress the need to maintain a positive outlook on life.

There is value in having an optimistic outlook when it’s met with productive action rather than using positive affirmations to deal with the issue at hand. If someone breaks a bone in their body and shrugs it off with “it will heal on its own,” rather than going to the hospital to get it checked to check the severity of the injury or working in a toxic workplace environment for several years and deluding oneself with “I just have to be patient as it will get better and I will get that promotion I been working hard towards,” while people other workers are getting promoted and little improvements has been in the company.

In the twenty-first century, optimism has become an integral aspect of Western society and a multibillion-dollar industry. Negative energy is pervasive. Not only is it not making us happy, but many of us are actually made miserable by it. Mysteriously, we should be at our peak happiness when we have our comfort & convenience.

Comfort & convenience

“We are living progressively sheltered, sterile, temperature-controlled, overfed, underchallenged, safety-netted lives.” ―Michael Easter, The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort To Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self

While convenience is a hallmark of modern living, it has yet to exactly lead to increased contentment. The key point is that while modern conveniences are nice, they only sometimes bring us happiness.

Although modern conveniences have unquestionably improved our quality of life, one cannot equate ease with contentment. Many folks appear to be more anxious and down than ever before. Now, instead of dealing with the elements, people must deal with mental obstacles like worry and fatigue at work. Trying to forget our problems by stuffing our faces with food, drinking, or staring at screens makes us feel worse. Modern life and government have further entrenched in people’s life and snuffed out the instinctual elements that contribute to our happiness but also in part because civilians are giving up more of their freedoms.

“Civilized man has exchanged some part of his chances of happiness for a measure of security.” ―Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents

Humans have an innate need for reassurance, but that doesn’t mean it’s beneficial. A school of thought among anthropologists suggests people were happier several centuries ago. Our wants were less and more easily met, and we had a built-in tendency toward present-moment awareness.

In addition, it is paradoxical that in our day of plenty, people still seek pleasure and attempt to avoid suffering at all costs. Spending our hard-earned cash on the pursuit of convenience is a surefire recipe for misery. When you seek pleasure, it is always followed by pain, but when you seek pain first, it is followed by pleasure. Pursuing instant gratification and taking the easy way out can only lead to misery.

“But a radical new body of evidence shows that people are at their best—physically harder, mentally tougher, and spiritually sounder—after experiencing the same discomforts our early ancestors were exposed to every day. Scientists are finding that certain discomforts protect us from physical and psychological problems like obesity, heart disease, cancers, diabetes, depression, and anxiety, and even more fundamental issues like feeling a lack of meaning and purpose.” ―Michael Easter, The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort To Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self

These modern examples make happiness almost an impossible thing rather than fleeting. Furthermore, there are far more reasons behind people’s overall unhappiness levels, such as:

• Information revolution. Basically, we can’t keep up or adapt to technological progress, such as how the internet, smartphone, social media, and more, even for all their conveniences, are perpetuating loneliness and lack of human connection are more commonly found among Millennials and more so Gen Z due to playing against the human psychology as they remove most of the physiological aspects in what amounts makes us social in the first place.
• A fragile anxious society. Most notably, the stigmatized snowflake generations, where the rise of unfettered praises, participation trophies, and helicopter parenting weaken individuals’ resilience. Also worsened by mainstream media propaganda, which polarizes and drives envy in more and more people, especially at a political level, with us versus them camps further driven into their own echo chambers. The crassness of the internet just makes spreading negativity easier around the world.

Thus, we also ask ourselves, “why would anyone want to be perpetually happy?” It makes people lazy that someone would lie down all day eating grapes rather than getting anything done.

Some of the drawbacks of too much happiness include the possibility of becoming a “head above the clouds,” which might lead to less originality than in persons whose emotions are more nuanced. In addition, they are more likely to take risks without fully considering the consequences since they are either oblivious to or choose to ignore potential dangers or excessively spend money. Like most things, moderation is vital, but it’s preferable to tip the scales toward joy rather than sadness.

The psychology of happiness

We go deeply into the question of what makes happiness so desirable. If happiness can be explained by psychology, then what is it? It’s possible to find a wide variety of theories on what makes people happy, but they can generally be broken down into two categories based on how they define that state of being happy: Although some theorists believe that happiness may be attained by focusing on other goals, the vast majority hold that happiness can only be attained by focusing on one’s own pleasure. Some believe actively seeking happiness will raise an individual’s happiness level, while others argue the opposite.

Types of Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is defined differently by each of us. Even the great ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle distinguished between two distinct varieties of happiness: hedonia and eudaimonia. Modern theories include a third affective state theory.

• According to hedonism, happiness is to have one’s wants met mainly or to have the bulk of one’s pleasures fulfilled. Hedonia.
• According to the perspective of “life satisfaction,” one must have a positive outlook on one’s life to be happy, whether this outlook is extended across one’s entire life or is more temporary in nature. Eudaimonia.
• According to the notion of affective states, one’s level of contentment is determined by his or her internal emotional state.

Hedonia

Hedonism is widely supported in modern culture, with the pursuit of pleasure seen as the pinnacle of human endeavor (hedone, from the Greek, means “pleasure”). The Latin expression “carpe diem” (seize the day) captures this philosophy beautifully: “live in the moment.” A common notion is that hedonists seek pleasure for their own sake, regardless of how it manifests or what it could mean in the long run.

People: “strive after happiness; they want to become happy and to remain so. This endeavor has two sides, a positive and a negative aim. It aims, on the one hand, at an absence of pain and displeasure, and, on the other, at the experiencing of strong feelings of pleasure.” ―Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents

Please note that the term “hedonia” refers to happiness rather than physical hedonism; one might experience euphoria not just from momentary pleasure but also from the accomplishment of one’s long-term goals or the attainment of other treasured outcomes. According to hedonic psychologists, happiness can consist of physical and mental gratifications.

The dark side of hedonism is decadence, which is linked to the fall of civilizations and characterized by cliches like “the end justifies the means” and “the pursuit of enjoyment at any cost,” or “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”

The last snippet is from G. Michael Hopf’s post-apocalyptic novel, “Those Who Remain.” Joseph Campbell notes in The Hero with a Thousand Faces that the weak person is the forerunner (the underdeveloped) faced with hardships. It grows into the hero who returns the favor to their community, suggesting a formula for the circle of life.

Often short-lived types of happiness are still essential elements to individual well-being when never taken to their extremes yet cultivated, gives us a healthy amount of happiness such as:

• Joy: a fleeting emotion experienced in the here and now
• Excitement: the state of mind characterized by the joyful expectation
• Gratitude: a positive emotion that demonstrates thankfulness and appreciation.
• Pride: a feeling of satisfaction that comes from a sense of accomplishment.
• Optimism: is the practice of maintaining a hopeful and constructive view of life.
• Contentment: is a state of enjoyment characterized by a sense of fulfillment that says, “all that I have is all that I need.”

Eudaimonia

The Greek roots of eudaimonia are eû (meaning “good, well”) and daimon (meaning “life,” “living,” or “living well”). It presumes that actualizing potential is the highest value there is to achieve. The most well-known proponents in antiquity were the Stoic philosophers, who emphasized the notion of self-discipline, and Aristotle, who argued that a life of virtue (following high standards of ethics and morality; built on strong human values) may lead to total happiness.

“Daimon” stands for our spirit and resiliency. Socrates, for instance, said that he was always instructed by a daimon. The primary idea is to spend our lives working for our full potential, which leads to the greatest happiness possible, or “infinite potential.”

“…the function of man is to live a certain kind of life, and this activity implies a rational principle, and the function of a good man is the good and noble performance of these, and if any action is well performed it is performed in accord with the appropriate excellence: if this is the case, then happiness turns out to be an activity of the soul in accordance with virtue.” ―Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics

That kind of happiness stems fundamentally from a quest for excellence and significance in life. People need a sense of meaning, worth, and purpose to be considered eudaimonic well-being. It’s more closely linked to being responsible, making long-term investments, caring for others, and living up to one’s beliefs:

• Developing oneself entails making ongoing efforts to do better in life in general. Intentional study of oneself and one’s environment to comprehend one’s values, goals, and purpose. Personal growth requires an accurate understanding of one’s own identity.
• The act of transcendence entails giving one’s entire attention, energy, and focus to something more important than oneself. It is possible to pursue both transcendence and one’s own growth.
• Fulfillment is the cultivation of purpose and meaning by adhering to one’s core values and virtues in both beliefs and behaviors.
• Companion love is the long-term commitment between two people that sets this type of love apart from friendship. There may be less exciting than in a fresh relationship. However, there is still a strong feeling of dedication and loyalty to the other person.
• As alluded to earlier, contentment, which we characterized as a belief “we have all that we need,” strengthens and prolongs a sense of peace and appreciation for life, which makes us happier.

Yet, our day-to-day life is a dance between positive and negative emotions, which psychologists call affective state theory.

Affective State Theory

According to the affect state theory, one’s level of contentment is determined by the balance between good (positive affect) and negative (negative affect) emotional states, which are seen as distinct and unrelated factors.

When the sum of the ‘negative’ items is subtracted from the ‘positive,’ it provides a measure of the quality of life that may be interpreted as an indicator of happiness. According to the affect state theory, the lack of negative affect is qualitatively different from the presence of positive affect.

The term “positive affectivity” describes the experience and expression of pleasant emotions and attitudes. Sadness, contempt, lethargy, dread, and anguish are negative feelings and expressions that make up negative affectivity.

Affective states, both positive and negative, play an essential part in our day-to-day experience and enjoyment and may alter our perspectives, ideas, actions, and brain activity. One way to entrench ourselves in a positive state is called: flow.

Flow

Csikszentmihalyi’s ‘flow’ hypothesis is another explanation for happiness. Flow is “the state of engagement, optimal enjoyment, and peak experience that happens when a person is engrossed in a hard and intrinsically motivating challenge.” Being in this kind of flow might lead to fulfillment. Flow is recognized in activities such as artists painting for several hours as they felt time froze.

Another popular theory is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Self-Fulfillment Theory: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

Humans have different psychological and physiological requirements at different levels, and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs illustrates this. Self-actualization occurs as an individual progresses up the pyramid. Maslow envisioned periods beyond the routine of needs fulfillment, known as peak experiences, powerful moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, in which a person feels more entire, alive, self-sufficient, and still a part of the universe. So, now we move on to the philosophy of happiness.

The philosophy of happiness

Happiness in traditional European societies—a legacy of the Greeks and Christianity—was typically tied to morality, which centered on the fulfillment of one’s assigned roles in society. The Protestant Reformation and the growth of capitalism both contributed to a shift away from a collective sense of responsibility as a means to personal fulfillment. A result of this rethinking was a modification of our moral language. Today, success is measured by how well one does in life rather than how successful one is in their social circle.

Aristotle

Although wealth, prestige, health, and friendship are all desirable, according to Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics (published in 350 BCE), pleasure is the only thing humans seek for their own reason. He saw that people didn’t just go after material success, prestige, or health for their own reasons. Aristotle considers the pursuit of eudaimonia, which is usually translated as “happiness” or “flourishing,” to be an action rather than a feeling or a condition. The ancient Greek term for “happiness” is eudaimonia, which combines the concepts of eu (“good”) and daimon (“spirit” or “minor deity,” sometimes used metaphorically to refer to one’s “lot” or “fortune”).

When viewed in this light, the good life—one in which one fully actualizes their inherent human potential—is the joyful life. To be more precise, Aristotle contended that the best possible way to live is through highly reasonable pursuits. Using something he called the “Function Argument,” he came to this conclusion. If this theory is correct, every living thing serves a purpose under the particular thing it performs. According to Aristotle, people exist for the sole purpose of reasoning. And doing one’s job well or brilliantly is a positive thing. In his view, the best way to live is to engage in the ideal rational activity. Also, the life of moral virtue was the second-best option for people who lacked the capacity for exceptional rational action.

“As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.” —Aristotle

Furthermore, he believed virtue is a trait that strikes a balance between two extremes. For example, courage is between the extremes of cowardice and foolishness. At the same time, generosity resides between the miser and the spendthrift. Doing so is good because it strikes a balance between two extremes. Aristotle believed that virtue is required but not sufficient for eudaimonia, while utilitarians reduced morality to happiness. We can’t thrive if we aren’t virtuous, but being good isn’t a surefire way to happiness either. Instead, eudaimonia includes the practice of virtue.

Aristotle contended that the answers to the issues of what makes someone happy and what makes someone a decent person are intrinsically linked. How morality and happiness are connected. A popular school of philosophy that helps us come closer to happiness is living a virtuous life: stoicism.

Stoicism

Being practical and focused on improving one’s life, stoicism encourages its adherents to seek out and pursue their true calling. The Stoics held that if we follow a morally good path, we may find success and satisfaction in life.

Although emotional responses come naturally to us, the Stoics advise us to pause and evaluate whether or not our feelings are warranted. It’s possible, for instance, to fall instantly in love with or become furious with someone. However, with further consideration, we can choose to suppress these emotions. That is to say, we could decide that these emotions are justified.

Anger, fear, and other negative feelings are contrasted with positive actions in Stoic thought. The Stoics aren’t advocating indifference; instead, they urge you to resist letting your emotions control you. You should instead proactively and constructively manage your responses to events while they are happening or will be happening. Particularly powerful manipulators are our desires and our fears.

The Stoics would practice nine exercises to bring meaning into their lives and happiness within this framework of operating in the world.

1. Practice Misfortune – Practice poverty, eat less, sleep in a tent, etc. If you’re always comfortable, you’ll fear that comfort will be taken away.
2. Turn the Obstacle Upside Down – If someone is unkind toward you, practice patience and understanding. If someone you love dies, practice fortitude.
3. All is Ephemeral – Remember, our passions are ephemeral, and our achievements are trivial.
4. The View from Above – Remember how small you are in the big scheme of things.
5. Meditate on Your Mortality – You could leave life today. Let that guide what you do and say.
6. Differentiate Between What You Can and Cannot Control – No amount of rage will change the weather or the traffic. But you can reject anger and rage.
7. Keep a Journal – Remind yourself and reflect upon what you’ve learned each day.
8. Practice Negative Visualization – If we prepare for the worst, our inner peace will likely remain when we encounter setbacks.
9. Love of Fate – Happiness isn’t getting what you want but wanting what you get. Treat all you encounter as something to be embraced.

The nine exercises above are credited to the authors of The Daily Stoic.

The tenets of stoicism expand upon those of Epicureanism and offer practical advice for achieving contentment in a consumer-driven culture.

Epicureanism. Epicurus is the wise man associated with this school of thought. Epicurus, an Athenian philosopher, born in 341 BCE, is credited with examining the link between happiness and possessions while lounging in his walled garden. Today, he is remembered as the first Western philosopher to thoroughly explore that connection.

Epicureanism

Epicurus argues that the pursuits of daily life have little to do with what brings true happiness. According to his theory of happiness, the “greatest good” is the pursuit of experiences that bring about calm, ataraxia (the lack of anxiety), and aponia (the absence of physiological pain). These factors, when combined, might bring about contentment.

Despite their conceptual differences, many philosophers consider Epicureanism a subset of hedonism. The Epicurean philosophy for pleasure emphasizes avoiding suffering as the means to fulfillment and promotes a minimalist lifestyle.

In order to find inner calm, according to Epicurus, we must master our appetites and expand our comprehension of the world around us.

In accordance with the Greek philosopher Epicurus, one may only find lasting satisfaction and joy in one’s life by:

• Moderation
• Knowledge
• Community
• Friendship
• A temperate life
• A virtuous life
• Abstinence from bodily desires

The term “temperate lifestyle” refers to restraint and adopting practices that promote a moderate and unostentatious way of living. Our ultimate objective may be pleasure and contentment. Still, according to Epicurus, self-indulgence is not the way to get there.

In religion, how is happiness perceived and achieved by the faithful?

Christianity

Thomas Aquinas, a 13th-century philosopher and theologian, describes the Beatific Vision of God’s nature in the future world as felicity, the Latin counterpart of the Greek eudaimonia (“blessed happiness”).

The philosophers Augustine of Hippo and Thomas Aquinas believe that happiness is man’s ultimate goal: “all men agree in desiring the last end, which is happiness.” Aquinas agreed with Aristotle that searching for desirable causes for deeds, such as habits according to virtue, is necessary for achieving happiness.

“Consequently happiness consists principally in such an operation, viz. in the contemplation of Divine things,” Aquinas writes, referring to an “operation of the speculative intellect.” Furthermore, “the last end cannot consist in the active life, which pertains to the practical intellect.”

So, “Therefore the last and perfect happiness, which we await in the life to come, consists entirely in contemplation. But imperfect happiness, such as can be had here, consists first and principally in contemplation, but secondarily, in an operation of the practical intellect directing human actions and passions.”

Reason and intellect, the sophisticated tools of the human mind, can lead to happiness or joy. Yet, this state of being is fleeting and temporary. The highest pleasure the will may have in this world is the contemplation of God, the supremely Beautiful. There is no way to achieve beatitudo, or perfect happiness, in this life, only in the next.

And from the perspective and teachings of Jesus Christ, the two most recognizable are:

• “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
• The second is “‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

We can think of the soul, mind, heart, and strength as distinct aspects of our being. When we say we love God with all our hearts, we refer to all our mental and emotional resources. As the center of a man’s being, the heart is essential. Thus, our love for God must come from deep inside. The heart represents where life starts. Whereas the mind is our intellectual love for God, basically to have Him in our thoughts. Having a soul is a sign of having a life. Our ability to love deeply, feel and experience love may be symbolic of our ability to love God similarly. Finally, When the Bible instructs us to love God “with all our strength,” it refers to our physical abilities. The Lord has given us bodies, abilities, and strengths to glorify Him.

Without a doubt, Jesus’ most powerful message on how to treat other people is the second greatest commandment: love your neighbor as yourself. On the other hand, we’ll have to exercise more time, patience, and understanding to love our neighbors as we do ourselves. If we love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves, then there is no place for self-centered behavior. Moreover, we can in no way think of ourselves as better than anyone else.

Thus, these two foundational teachings of Jesus provide the Christian faithful with meaning and purpose that guides their actions. Furthermore, several parables emphasize the importance of kindness, forgiving others, and the humility to be content with one’s life. These are essential tenets of the Christian faith and, as a byproduct, made the faithful happier.

Even eastern Asian cultures touch on what it means to be happy.

Buddhism

The pursuit of happiness is a fundamental tenet of Buddhist philosophy. The final goal of the Noble Eightfold Path is Nirvana, an eternal state of tranquility where all suffering has been eliminated. Only by conquering all types of desire can one reach true contentment. Cultivating a selfless concern for the well-being of all sentient beings is another essential Buddhist teaching.

Confucianism

While Confucian thinker, Mencius of China, believed that the mind mediated between the “lesser self” (the physiological self) and the “larger self” (the moral self) and that balancing these two aspects was essential to achieving enlightenment and becoming a sage. He contended that doing good actions should bring about a sense of fulfillment and joy; otherwise, one’s “vital power” would dwindle (Mencius, 6A:15 2A:2).

Sources of true happiness

What would an individual alter if they could draw more happiness? Any recent changes in their life, such as employment, romantic status, or residence? What would they rather have more of: time, money, health, or beauty?

Almost everyone has at least one fantasy along these lines, usually involving a dramatic improvement to their current lot in life. We wander around saying to ourselves, “If only X would happen to me, I’d be happy.”

Research, however, suggests that these ideas are largely fictitious.

Despite common belief, external factors have a lot smaller impact on our level of contentment than we give them credit for.

When compiled, a 2005 research suggests that individual differences in happiness explain no more than 10% of the variance. That is to say, differences in happiness can only be accounted for by random factors like wealth and marital status 90% of the time.

Meanwhile, on the genetic front, across several studies, genetics is responsible for 30 to 50% of the variance in how happy people are.

Including the ten percent that may be attributed to outside factors, the total rises to sixty percent. Still, that only accounts for 60 percent of our happiness. From whence does it originate?

40% of our joy stems from our own actions and ideas.

The calculation for this number is based on elimination. Another factor must be at play if genes and environment only account for up to 60% of happiness. What else could it be other than the way we think and act?

40% is a really hopeful number. We can’t change our DNA, at least not now. And we can’t help but feel helpless in the face of many of life’s challenges. However, we can alter our attitudes and actions. Thus, it is always within our power to improve our happiness, regardless of the circumstances.

However, this is true only hypothetically. Forty percent or more?

Both, actually. Let’s circle back to the idea that heredity accounts for half of happiness. It appears that our happiness “set point,” as psychologists put it, is predetermined by our DNA. This is the point of bliss that most people seek after. The moment at which a lottery winner’s emotions return to their pre-win levels once hedonic adaptation has taken effect.

Specific individuals have naturally greater or lower set points than others. However, the same may be stated for size, IQ, and lipid levels. For instance, some people have a higher predisposition than others to gain weight due to their genes. However, that is not an excuse for not losing weight. Simply put, they have to make more effort to lose weight and keep it off than those who aren’t slim by birth.

Similarly, happiness can’t be guaranteed. One may overcome a low set point by actively attempting to change their way of thinking and doing. Simply said, someone will have to make more effort than someone who is naturally more upbeat, but it may make their success seem all the better when they do!

When we combine the many types of research and hypotheses on what makes people happy, we can identify at least a handful of crucial elements:

• Individual income
• Labor market status
• Physical health
• Family
• Social relationships
• Moral values
• A sense of purpose and meaning
• A spiritual connection with the divine (nature, universe, or God)
• Experience positive emotions

According to Jonathan Haidt’s The Happiness Hypothesis, finding the correct balance between ourselves and our environment is the key to a fulfilling existence.

“Happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you, such as coherence among the parts and levels of your personality. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.” ―Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

Why happiness is essential

Since several factors contribute to a fulfilling existence, an individual may question why joy is prioritized. Satisfaction, purpose, and well-being in one’s life are related to happiness. Yet, happiness itself may not be the ultimate objective for everyone. The fact that it has some good advantages and supporting aspects remains significant.

• Happier people have better outcomes in many areas, including romantic relationships, social circles, financial stability, professional accomplishments, and physical health.
• When they do get sick, happy individuals tend to recover more quickly.
• A happier person’s social circle is larger and more supportive.
• When individuals are pleased, they give more to charity (and giving money to charity makes us happy, too).
• When we surround ourselves with positive individuals, we boost our own mood.
• Optimism lessens the impact of negative emotions like pain, sadness, and loss, making life easier for those with it.
• By setting a good example and encouraging others to pursue their happiness, happy individuals may be a powerful reinforcement for seeking joy.
• When individuals are content, they talk about things that matter to them.
• Smiling is good for our health, and happy individuals do more.
• When people are content, they tend to have healthier lifestyles overall.
• Those who are content with their lives do not envy those who have more.
• People generally content with their lives have a lower risk of developing health problems and a higher likelihood of living longer, healthier lives.
• Happier people tend to outlive their less joyful counterparts.
• To a greater extent than those experiencing negative emotions, happy individuals are more efficient and innovative.
• People can fortify their emotional reserves and coping mechanisms when they are happy.
• The longer and healthier people live, the more evidence there is that happy feeling are connected to those outcomes.
• The ability to withstand adversity will increase as we learn to trust in ourselves and our skills. Those that are more resilient are stronger and quicker to recover from setbacks.
• Those who rate themselves happy are more likely to practice healthful habits, including a balanced diet high in fruits and vegetables and regular exercise.
• Positive emotions have been linked to fewer health problems. The immune system benefits when people are in a good mood.

The dark side of happiness

One’s sensitivity, gullibility, success, and propensity to engage in high-risk actions may increase in the face of enduring happiness.

Another drawback of pleasure is that it can quickly go. Sometimes the things that make us happy today might make us unhappy later. This implies that to keep ourselves happy, we must continually seek out novel experiences, which can be taxing. The search for contentment often involves evaluating one’s life in relation to that of others, which can lead to feelings of envy and discontentment.

Consequently, while it is true that pleasure is often seen as a pleasant emotion, it is also vital to be aware of the risks associated with it. Rather than making happiness our exclusive focus, we should work toward a more well-rounded state of being. Therefore, recognize the beliefs and behaviors that rob one’s happiness.

7 sins of happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness is an end in itself. Achieving happiness isn’t a destination someone can attain and then leave behind. It’s an ongoing quest that needs regular care and feeding. Those who prioritize happiness most are often the most negligible content with their life. Simply put, pursuing pleasure becomes so idealistic that success becomes impossible. “The more individuals prioritize happiness, the more likely they are to feel dissatisfied,” so the argument goes. Furthermore, some people will associate removing pain from one’s life with achieving true happiness.

“Happiness and satisfaction always imply some desire fulfilled. Some state of pain brought to an end” —Arthur Schopenhauer

However, it would only exhaust and perpetuate more pain in their life. We shouldn’t aim for happiness in the abstract sense. Instead, we should work on creating the kind of life and connections that will make us happy and fulfilled. How we each define joy is also an essential factor to think about. The phrase “happiness” encompasses a wide range of emotions and experiences, each of which can have unique and personal significance. Looking at happiness as an endpoint might be counterproductive; instead, it can be beneficial to consider what constitutes pleasure for each of us individually and then take steps toward achieving that satisfaction. This might make the process of reaching these objectives feel more manageable and attainable.

Lack of social connections and support. Support from our social network, such as friends and family, may be invaluable. Thus, having a solid social network positively impacts one’s well-being and mental health. To provide just one example, the research found that participants credited social support with accounting for 43% of their happiness and that the highest-quality social support was the most essential element in determining happiness.

A person’s happiness may be profoundly impacted by a small group of trusted friends. Furthermore, we’re living in times when we’re digitally connected, where people try to seek relationships online, only for those relationships to lack physiological connection. For instance, interacting with a person on a video chat, the brain sees a person on a screen, whereas, in person, the individual picks up more nonverbal cues (body language).

Several published videos on YouTube and social media platforms where individuals confess they have made all these connections online but still feel lonely. We simply have yet to evolve and adapt at the speed of technology pervading our lives. Hopefully, with time, people will have more control over when to use technology than substitute it in some areas of their life.

Misplaced values. While it’s true that money can buy happiness once past poverty levels; however, studies have shown that putting that cash into experiences has a much greater impact on one’s well-being and self-esteem than buying material goods. Spending money on experiences has increased one’s sense of well-being and enjoyment. Suppose people place too high a value on material wealth.

“Those who think money can’t buy happiness just don’t know where to shop … People would be happier and healthier if they took more time off and spent it with their family and friends, yet America has long been heading in the opposite direction. People would be happier if they reduced their commuting time, even if it meant living in smaller houses, yet American trends are toward even larger houses and ever longer commutes. People would be happier and healthier if they took longer vacations even if that meant earning less, yet vacation times are shrinking in the United States, and in Europe as well. People would be happier, and in the long run and wealthier, if they bought basic functional appliances, automobiles, and wristwatches, and invested the money they saved for future consumption; yet, Americans and in particular spend almost everything they have – and sometimes more – on goods for present consumption, often paying a large premium for designer names and superfluous features.” ―Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

In that case, they should instead work toward ends that will provide them more independence. It’s not uncommon to find people who live by superficial values such as social status, materialism, and virtue signaling rather than good core values that are evidence-based, constructive, and controllable. Some examples of core values are honesty, moral courage, and kindness. Superficial values generally rely on other people’s perception, which is outside an individual control; let’s take, for instance, someone who believes their worth is measured by how many followers and likes they receive on social media if their follower count and likes do not meet their expectation this can lead to destructive behaviors of chronic depression and a feeling of worthlessness (emotion-based).

Therefore, creating and cultivating the right values can bring someone closer to experiencing happiness than resigning that outside themselves.

Devaluing happiness. This “devaluing happiness” phenomenon occurs when individuals place too much importance on pursuing happiness over actual feelings of joy and contentment. When an individual starts placing too much emphasis on seeking external sources of happiness, they can overlook the internal resources that should give them satisfaction and pleasure. For example, relationships with close family members or friends can be neglected in favor of chasing material possessions or a certain lifestyle.

As people become more focused on achieving these goals, they may feel more empty and dissatisfied than ever before. Nowadays, this is quite visible when a subset of people derive worth by acting as a victim to earn people’s sympathy. Of course, someone who is a victim of an actual crime or wrongdoing should be addressed. However, what’s being discussed here are people who feel lonely and lost in life and who go onto social media to publish a bottomless well of nihilism and melancholy and attract more folks like themselves (which is fine at first to develop empathy and support system).

“When we fail to attain a desired outcome, we often extrapolate from that experience the belief that we have no control over our lives or over certain parts of it. Such thinking leads to despair.” ―Tal Ben-Shahar, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

What starts with the right intentions to seek help usually ends up as a cult of people who feed on each other’s victimhood, rarely doing anything constructive to break themselves out of the miasma of dread that perpetuates gloom rather than overcoming them.

Harboring negative beliefs about happiness. Harboring negative beliefs about happiness can have long-lasting effects on our mental and emotional well-being. Those who held opposing views about happiness were more likely to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Additionally, they were less likely to be satisfied with their current relationships or engage in meaningful activities.

Many people worry that if they let themselves be happy, they may become too complacent and start to slack off. The thought of “why should I work hard if I’m happy?” crosses the minds of many individuals. But research shows that happiness doesn’t make us sluggish unless, of course, if it’s only done for hedonic activities. This helps us become more efficient and effective. The idea that happiness leads to egotism is another fallacy perpetuated by those who have never experienced it. Many of us have the mentality, “If I’m already happy, then why should I truly care about others?”

Happiness makes us less concerned with our own needs and more willing to help those of others. The vast majority of us have firsthand experience with this. When is someone most likely to be kind to their loved ones and least likely to kick the dog, for instance? When was the last time someone’s supervisor yelled at them, or when was the last time they were promoted? A positive outlook on life generally makes everyone more inclined to treat others kindly. But this is often overlooked in discussions about happiness.

One other mistaken idea about happiness is that it doesn’t last. In other words, we don’t place a high value on happiness since we think it won’t stay eventually. But does happiness last only for a short time? It is conditional. A happy life is relative to one’s personal perspective. Happiness is fleeting if it is based on physical sensations. But if people think of it in terms of love or connection, it may stay for a lot longer. The same holds true whether their definition of abundance is relatable.

Feel secure in knowing that all needs will be met and that their life is beautiful, flaws, and all can endure even longer. Individuals must challenge negative perceptions about happiness to maintain a healthy outlook on life.

Childhood trauma. When a person has experienced trauma, especially in the first six years of life, it might shape their response to social exclusion and material shortage by amplifying their most fundamental concerns. How a child is parented during these crucial years can significantly impact how that child handles the stresses of adulthood. A person’s outlook on life might change drastically from one person to the next depending on the upbringing they had from their parents.

“There are many adults who treat their own weakness or misfortune, their hurt, troubled background and trauma, as a weapon and plot how they will control other people. They will try to control others by making them worry and by restricting their own words and actions.” ―Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to be Happy: True Contentment Is In Your Power

Indeed, it may be quite distressing to grow up feeling unloved, and the repercussions may last throughout one’s life. Although this may be true, it doesn’t always indicate that those who experienced early trauma will always be miserable. Although studies have found that exposure to trauma increases activity in the brain’s primitive fear response system, the neocortex and other regions of the brain give cause for optimism.

The neocortex processes new information and helps us to make deliberate choices about how to respond to it. It is also the seat of our emotional and cognitive ability. Consider someone who has experienced trauma before. When people get into financial trouble, worries about making ends meet might escalate. Putting the situation in context and coming up with a solution is possible if people give the neocortex a chance to work rather than immediately acting on their gut reaction.

This individual might face their fears head-on by creating a more realistic monthly budget. The neocortex becomes more robust with usage. Seeing a therapist can also be beneficial since they can help us shift our thinking and adopt a more optimistic stance.

Distrusting life & ourselves “wisdom from within.” Distrusting life and ourselves can be a major obstacle in our quest to achieve true happiness.

It is essential to recognize that while it may be challenging to trust the world around us, great wisdom comes from trusting in yourself. To truly appreciate and enjoy life, one must learn to value their own worth and have faith in the outcome of their choices. Self-doubt can create an atmosphere of mistrust toward others and foster greater trust within oneself. Accepting ourselves for who we are allows us to better understand our emotions and ultimately leads us closer to true happiness.

“He is saying not just to love one’s neighbour, but to love them as much as one loves oneself. If one cannot love oneself, one cannot love others. If one cannot believe in oneself, one cannot believe in others. Please think of the phrase as carrying that connotation. You are insisting that you cannot believe in other people, but that is because you have not managed to truly believe in yourself.” ―Ichiro Kishimi, The Courage to be Happy: True Contentment Is In Your Power

Furthermore, we need to develop a positive outlook on life to move forward with greater confidence and clarity of purpose. Life is rife with phases of suffering: illness, betrayal, and death. Yet, what doesn’t kill us can make us stronger, more resilient, accepting of the hardships that come our way, and make peace with it all.

So, we ask what virtuous habits to adopt to cultivate a life filled with more happiness are?

Habits to cultivate happiness

Make happiness a priority, but don’t chase it. Choose actions that bring oneself joy rather than seeking joy itself. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination. We all want to be happy and content, but often we need to remember that it can’t just be chased. Happiness must be cultivated through habits, not an end goal. Being mindful of how we spend our time and energy can help foster contentment in all aspects of life.

“[W]hen it comes to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that counts, not the destination. Set for yourself any goal you want. Most of the pleasure will be had along the way, with every step that takes you closer. The final moment of success is often no more thrilling than the relief of taking off a heavy backpack at the end of a long hike. If you went on the hike only to feel that pleasure, you are a fool.” ―Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom

For example, physical health is an essential contributor to overall happiness. Take time out for ourselves every day to take a walk or practice meditation; this will give us the energy boost we need throughout our day and reflect and observe life presently to identify what matters, what unresolved issues need to be addressed, and whether we are moving in the right direction in life. Another way to cultivate happiness is by taking care of our mental health.

Spending too much time on social media can cause envy or discontentment, so make sure to limit screen time as much as possible and instead focus on activities like reading books or talking with friends and family members who bring joy into one’s life. And lastly, have fun! Go to dinner with friends, watch a funny movie, or work on a passion project. Laughing is one of the easiest ways to boost happiness and ensure it is done often.

Perception and reaction. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” —William Shakespeare, Hamlet. We give meaning to the events in our life based on how we feel about them. That interpretation is usually colored by our preconceptions and prejudices (self-limiting beliefs). Furthermore, we have little to no control over situations outside our grasp, yet, we do have control over how we respond to those events, so why be bothered rather than glean insights or brush them off. What purpose these lessons can serve to make us more virtuous, especially when hardship rears its ugly head to test our resolve.

“Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well.” —Epictetus

Distinguishing between what we can and cannot control is the cornerstone of Stoic philosophy. How much control we have and how much control we don’t have. No amount of screaming at an airline employee will make the weather clear up and allow the flight to take off. Nothing would change even if someone wished they were born in another nation or a different height. No matter how much effort they put in, you cannot change someone’s opinion of you. Throwing ourselves at these immovable items wastes time that could be better spent working on the things we can alter.

“There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.” —Seneca the Younger

Carpe Diem. It is better to seize the day than lament it. When we’re on the fence about whether or not to do something, go ahead and do it. The human mind is good at finding the bright side but helpless when we do nothing to change the situation. Therefore, we will be able to learn something from the experience even if the decision does not turn out as planned. The last thing most people want on their deathbeds is regret the number of inactions they have to live with, but of course, with some degree of practical realism. A person who acts on every impulse welcomes as much harm as one who sits idle in what-ifs.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” —Seneca the Younger

Find a sense of purpose and meaning higher than oneself. But satisfaction alone isn’t enough. Happiness may only be attained by balancing sensual experiences with meaningful work. Even if ecstasy results in intense pleasure, it cannot generate happiness unless the user intends to do so. Therefore, to find lasting joy, we need to seek out events that do more than just make us feel good emotionally; they should also have some significance or significance to us as individuals.

Although our intentions may be good, they will only bring us joy if they satisfy these conditions. If that means a career leaves someone empty and without meaning, it would be wise of them to explore other options, change careers, start an online business, or take the leap of faith to leave the job and go on a cross-country trip. Of course, the common wisdom is to be practical with one’s current situation.

Still, sometimes, we cannot always have life figured out by expecting events to perfectly line up. Instead, they’re discovered in the unknown paths we tread where purpose and meaning are found. Whether supporting or volunteering people in some capacity, or mentoring juniors, our happiness is a balance between ourselves and our environment.

Foster and cultivate virtues. The term “virtue” has been used to refer to admirable qualities in people worldwide. These characteristics, popular in the Middle Ages and ancient Rome, were considered crucial for a happy existence. Western morality, as it is understood now, however, is deeply flawed and mostly ineffectual. Unlike in many other cultures, where children are required to do acts of charity as part of their school curriculum, Western students are instead encouraged to reflect on moral issues. The challenge with this strategy is that it won’t help us if we only think about morals instead of practicing them.

“True happiness flows from the possession of wisdom and virtue and not from the possession of external goods.” —Aristotle

While virtues are often discussed in morality, they also have practical implications. Recognizing and developing virtues is essential for maintaining an ethical lifestyle in a society rife with temptations and diversions. Creating a good character is vital for a variety of reasons. To begin, developing a virtuous character sets us apart from the crowd by giving us confidence in our integrity and sincerity. In this way, we may be sure that our principles, rather than societal norms or pressure from our peers, will guide our decision-making.

The second reason to work on being virtuous is that it improves our connections with ourselves and others. It promotes acts of charity and esteem for oneself, fostering deeper relationships with others. Thirdly, the pursuit of virtue contributes to our overall well-being. People with a solid sense of self-worth and integrity, who treat others with kindness, and who act according to their principles tend to be the most successful and content in life. Therefore, altruism is one strategy for achieving this goal. Traditional conceptions of altruism center on people helping others or the greater good. On the other hand, helping others while simultaneously benefiting oneself is a great trait. Why? Because helping others and doing good for others are great ways to improve our well-being.

A feeling of closeness and affection. The ability to love and be loved is essential to our survival. Love and being loved are two of life’s most fundamental needs. As social beings, we require the company of others. Not having any purpose in life would be devastating. Love is a powerful force that can help individuals recover from illnesses and disasters in life much more quickly, and love anchors our identity and purpose with others and the cosmos.

“There is nothing more satisfying than being loved for who you are and nothing more painful than being loved for who you’re not but pretending to be.” ―Neil Pasricha, The Happiness Equation: Want nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything

Thus, we must be honest with ourselves and project something we’re not; love will be a natural byproduct. In the wise words of Sigmund Freud, he said that humans need two things to be happy, “love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” Part of that love is genuine pride in oneself.

Authentic pride. When people are genuinely proud of themselves, they exude self-assurance and contentment without appearing arrogant. Humility and a dedication to helping others are the keys to success. Genuine pride comes from a healthy dose of self- and other respect. It’s proud of oneself while acknowledging the achievements of others.

Don’t negate negative emotions. Feelings that aren’t positive should be addressed. Essentially, “feel your feelings,” but don’t dwell on them for too long to the point of inaction. Instead, permit oneself to become aware of and acknowledge such emotions. Identify the feeling. Could it be anxiety? Stress? Again, whatever it is, don’t give up; understand the source of it and accept it for what it is. Life will always have difficult times, such as illness and death in the family.

“I know of no greater absurdity than that propounded by most systems of philosophy in declaring evil to be negative in its character. Evil is just what is positive; it makes its own existence felt,” ―Arthur Schopenhauer

The emotional range of emotions is part of who we’re; there is beauty in the sometimes drib and drab moments to invite us to slow down and focus. When we better understand the root cause of negative emotions, sometimes they’re just fleeting natural responses to life’s circumstances or motifs to something more profound that warrants scrutiny. An examined life is a healthier and happier one than the unexamined one.

Sensual relishing of all senses. Happiness is a fleeting sensation because of how humans are wired. This is because our brains release a chemical called dopamine when we experience something joyful, making us feel good for a while. In part, we’re motivated to seek happiness by the pleasure it brings us. Nothing would ever be done if we didn’t feel something first. Emotions put simply, are the fuel that propels us forward. As the term “emotion” is derived from the prefix e-, meaning “away,” and the Latin verb movere, meaning “to move,” this makes perfect sense.

In this way, feelings dislodge us from our inertia, propelling us in novel directions and inspiring us to take decisive action. As a result, a moderate degree of sensory pleasure might result in a more robust sensation of contentment. However, hyperrational and intellectual people often are the most unhappy and fail to recognize the value of balancing moderate levels of positive and spontaneous activities due to separating the mind-body experience and lumping any form of bodily sensation as primitive and their ability to overthink everything, making happiness not a priority in their life.

Contentment. Many people have the impression that happiness is a permanent condition in which they are always happy. But unfortunately, joy doesn’t last forever. Like any other feeling, it comes and goes. Learning to surf the waves of life rather than being carried away by them is the secret to contentment.

“Happiness grows best in the soil of contentment.” ―Tim Fargo

Genuine joy is something we create for ourselves. It has nothing to do with the external environment. Regardless of what happens, if we can learn to be happy with who we are, we will achieve a consistent dosage of happiness despite the suffering that’ll come our way. We can build resilience to those sour moments in solitude.

Embrace solitude and boredom. Even if it goes against common sense, spending more time alone might help us feel less lonely. We’ll have an easier time surviving times of solitude, such as a pandemic lockdown if we’ve practiced learning to enjoy our own company. Research has also shown that spending time alone may boost our sensitivity and inventiveness. Bored time may be good for us, especially if we’re trying to spur some creativity. Due to our reliance on our phones, however, we can no longer stand idle. As a result, many of us are experiencing worrisome mental tiredness and are starting to feel burned out.

“The way to find out about your happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you really are happy-not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what I call “following your bliss.” —Joseph Campbell

Sometimes taking a mental break and doing nothing is a good idea. Putting down the phone and looking at trees instead of screens can do wonders for our energy. Numerous research has demonstrated the advantages of spending time in nature. There’s the Japanese practice of “forest bathing,” for instance. Stress, anxiety, and despair decrease significantly after only two hours in the woods. Surprisingly, even those with preexisting conditions like heart disease or renal disease benefit from a visit to the woods. Nature in any form may be soothing, but the advantages of nature are maximized in the wild. Spending time in a natural park produces more profound and long-lasting emotions of relaxation than in an urban park.

Seek challenges & new experiences. For Aboriginal Australians, going on a walkabout is a rite of passage. Young men can spend up to six months wandering the Australian desert, braving temperatures up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Some of the deadliest snakes in the world live in this area, and there is a dearth of food and shelter. Rites of passage are common in many cultures. Young individuals gain mental and physical fortitude and a more secure sense of self after enduring rigorous testing.

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” —Joseph Campbell

It’s possible to get some mental space by switching up our routine or learning something new. It’s not unsurprising in modern western societies, too many regulations and safety measures have been put in places like playgrounds and boys couped up in the house than playing and exploring the outside world has created a generation of weak and fragile men who don’t take enough risk nor assess risk very well.

Thus, this is why in many cultures of the past and certain religions like Judaism, bar mitzvah, a ritual initiation from childhood to adulthood, creates a psychological transition, and the attack on masculinity has weakened men’s relationships with not just other men but also with their purpose to themselves and society. A man with his act together recognizes his place in the world, acts per his moral compass, and makes every effort to eliminate wrongdoing from his life. He takes care of his family, provides for them, and tries to live his life in a way that honors God while teaching his children to do the same. He is not a controlling or abusive husband and father.

Still, he does set an example he wants his family to follow. After all, he is the head of the family and has clear goals for his future. He knows what he wants out of life and is willing to overcome his fears and difficulties. Public figures like Jordan B. Peterson is an important role model for young men because he points out that their life matters. When those men recognize their purpose, they return to society with meaning and focus and cultivate a healthier community.

Integrate happy-boosting activities with variety. The success of a happiness-increasing activity is also dependent on factors like variety and dedication. Suppose an individual wants to get the benefits of an activity that has been shown to increase happiness. In that case, they need to keep doing it. If not, the benefits will disappear in a matter of weeks or days at most. Then they’ll be back where they started, with their predetermined baseline level of happiness. In other words, keeping a gratitude diary for a short time and then putting it away won’t make us permanently happy. Like regular exercise, maintaining the benefits of an activity shown to increase our level of pleasure requires making it a normal part of our routine.

Our longing for the supernatural is inherent to our humanity. Religion in the contemporary Western world is marginal, especially compared to other communities and historical eras. Even if an individual is not religious, religions may still contain what they need: opportunities for profound awe and wonder. Whether or whether we identify as religious, we all have an internal divinity scale that determines how sacred we consider various things to be. These religions generally divide the world into “holy” and “unholy” categories based on various attributes of the people, events, and things involved. Generally speaking, more spiritual activities, like prayer or ceremonial bathing, were seen as heavenly.

In contrast, those that resembled animals were seen as filthy. Even nonbelievers’ brains operate on a similar scale; even atheists tend to hold the site of their first kiss in high regard. Whether religious or not, encounters with the sublime have the power to transform us into better, happier individuals. Experiencing awe is common when we see something that is beyond the capacity of our current conceptual frameworks, such as the vastness of the night sky or the heroic actions of a fellow human being. The happiness we experience stems from this feeling of awe, which links us to a power larger than ourselves.

“The human soul longs for something to worship. People have worshipped many things, the sun, the moon, animals and birds, trees and flowers, the Creator himself is worshipped in various modes. But by whatever name or form he is worshipped his glory can only be adequately known if he reveals himself to his worshippers.” —Buddha

And when we share that sense of awe with others in a communal setting, as we do when we pray or sing, it may strengthen our bonds to those we’re with. Since Western civilization does not truly allow a place for spiritual experiences, this would explain why individuals in the predominantly secular West often feel their lives lack something vital. The Western world has become a pragmatic environment where everything is ranked according to its use, and traditional religion is looked down upon while many of them find and fulfill this area of their life in science, politics, or ideologies. As a result, few of us ever feel truly amazed and almost always think something is missing.

The Gist

“Live a life that challenges you, fulfills you, has meaning, and brings you moments of joy. Open yourself to all emotions and experiences. Discover what you value and follow it until the end, knowing that sometimes life is going to hurt and that’s what makes it worth living.” ―Whitney Goodman, Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy

The lens through which we view the world directly impacts our sense of contentment with it. In retrospect, a happy life is preferable to a miserable one. The formation of a star requires a delicate dance between gravity and the star’s outward force of pressure that releases the energy to grow life; similarly, happy life is achieved by mindset alone and by the practicality of virtues that cannot be taught and alienating negative emotions. It’s better not to lose hope; instead, take advantage of it when feeling good.

People who know their life’s purpose when they first open their eyes in the morning feel a profound sense of joy and contentment. They have all the ingredients for eudaimonic fulfillment—a life full of passion and vigor.

The path to eudaimonic fulfillment is a complex one, though. It’s rife with problems to solve, mysteries to unravel, and uncertainties to be questioned. Though it’s great for everyone’s future contentment, we may find it challenging when we’re trying to communicate our deepest thoughts in the near term. For instance, if someone is unhappy in their current position. There is a painful juncture when they realize that “who you are” and “what you do” don’t line up. After that, they embark on a quest to discover their own sense of purpose and how to realize it.

Some people may need to go back to school, take a step down in their careers, or run their own businesses. In the near term, this process can be difficult and may result in irritation, grief, or even suffering; nonetheless, these emotions are all natural and necessary components of the self-actualization process. However, this is an integral aspect of achieving eudaimonic fulfillment. We may have difficulties throughout this transition, but we will likely emerge on the other side with a sense of profound fulfillment and purpose. We’re making a bet on our own future happiness.

Life must also be lived in the moment when an individual taps into a moderate balance of hedonic activities that reveals continual elements of joy, excitement, gratitude, pride, optimism, and contentment. Then they can see how the art of living a virtuous life is an ongoing experience rather than an end. Then they can see how the art of living a virtuous life is an ongoing experience rather than an end.

“Happiness is the indication that man has found the answer to the problem of human existence: the productive realization of his potentialities and thus, simultaneously, being one with the world and preserving the integrity of his self. In spending his energy productively he increases his powers, he burns without being consumed.” —Erich Fromm